Well yes actually, it is all about me.

Friday, March 30, 2007

'I know, let's have a key that acts like Pac-Man and gobbles up whole pages of text before the user realises. Let's call it 'insert.''

If someone can explain to me the use of the 'insert' key on a keyboard, I'll be over the moon.

I hate the bloody thing. It's so annoying. I just looked at a chunk of text that I wanted to add to, right in the middle of the paragraph, pressed delete, but my finger must have slipped and landed on 'insert', which meant I overwrote loads of work. Ugh.

What use does this key have? What benefit is it to anyone? I guess the people that designed the QWERTY keyboard thought, 'Well, we've got space for six keys. What have we got so far? Home, (makes sense, useful), page up, (makes sense, useful), delete, (makes sense, useful), end, (makes sense, useful), page down, (makes sense, useful). What should we use for the sixth? Oh! I know, let's have a key that acts like Pac-Man and gobbles up whole pages of text before the user realises. Let's call it 'insert.'' (Doesn't make sense. Shit).

And what does 'insert' even mean? Insert what? Just loads of frustration in my opinion.

Anyway, I'm back to work (insert key avoiding).

xx

Thursday, March 29, 2007

'Nope, had enough, go out and play in the hail instead.'

Ugh, what happened to the sun? That slutty little tease. One minute it's all, 'Here I am, feel my warmth, mmmm,' and then the next: 'Nope, had enough, go out and play in the hail instead.'

Well, Mr/Mrs Sunshine, aren't you a temperamental little beast, and, at the moment, top of my hitlist.

So, today I woke up nice and early to get my hair cut. All very well and good. The sun was shining as I slid out of bed and got in the shower (via the stairs). And the sun was still shining when I came back downstairs and got dressed. Oh, lovely, I thought, I can have a wander around the town after the hairdressers, maybe sit outside with my book and a cup of tea, maybe have a walk on the beach before coming home and getting on with work.

All set for the day ahead, I opened the front door and the sun was nowhere to be seen. Gone; or at least hiding very elaborately. Not nice. Oh, and there was a dead rat in the row which just added to the whole bleak feeling.

Anyway, had my haircut and happy with that. While I was there about three or four old(ish) women came in saying, 'Oh it's miserable out there,' and each time one of the hairdressers would say, 'Oh I know, and it's been so nice all week.' Painful.

One of the women to the side of me was getting a full report of her hairdresser's life which, if all's to be believed, has been full of injustices of late while another, having just had a perm, was in a quandry about what to do about the rain. It was all very dramatic.

So after that I had a nice-but-would-have-been-nicer-not-in-the-wet-and-wind-and-hail wander around town. I went to the little grocers that I like and bought some guilt free vegetables (as in I was guilt free not shopping at Asda. The veg themselves may well have been wracked with guilt. I do not know.) and then went to some charity shops to look at books and belts. And only in that order, never belts and books.

One of the charity shops was just amazing. Not because of the stock, but because of the conversation. While I was there I heard this:

Woman one: I'm just going out to get some coffee
Woman two: We've got coffee
Woman one: But it's decaf. I don't like decaf.
Woman two: Oh. I need caffeine! (Laughs and leaves)
Woman two: I didn't think about that. I thought it would be the other way round.
Woman three: Me too.
Woman two: Do you like coffee?
Woman three: No, do you?
Woman two: No.
Woman three: Janine loves coffee.
Woman two: Who?
Woman two: Janine, red Janine, comes in on a Saturday.
Woman three: Oh yes, I know. How is she feeling?
Woman two: A lot better.
Woman two: Oh, that's good.

I just wanted to ask, 'Why is she red Janine?' Not red haired Janine, just red Janine. I wonder if her redness was anything to do with her illness. Or her coffee intake. Oh, so many questions....and probably no answers in regards to that little riddle.

Anyway, last night I managed to get a lot of my Industry Analysis done. In fact I've written the word count and just need to speak to some people to get some quotes in so am going to start ringing people tomorrow and then cut down what I've already done. I know that sounds like a bassackwards way of doing things but I've learnt it's easier to approach get information out of people if you know what you want them to say. Since I've written the body of the text, I can just ask their opinion and then fill in the blanks. Perfect!

On another note, I started watching a film last night called The Death Of Mr Lazerescu. I'd wanted to see it for ages but missed it at the cinema and so took the DVD out of the library. I couldn’t get into it at all but stuck with it for about an hour before giving in and fast forwarding it and getting eye strain reading the speedy subtitles. Still didn’t get to the end since it was about 1.30am by that point.

Anyway, I think that's the lot for today. Now going to go to the gym, then home to get cracking with the plan for Chapter Three.

xx

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Yes, 924.

Ugh, I've been in the library for about three hours and have written, wait, let me check, 924 words. Yes, 924. What a pitiful amount. Still, it's going in the right direction. I've just started my Industry Analysis, which is on finding and approaching a literary agent. It's not the most exciting thing I could be doing, but it's okay. I want to get as much as possible done before I go back to my parents for Easter next Thursday so I can actually relax a bit. Not that I will. I'm sure I'll be thinking about all the things I could/should be doing.

Anyway, it's such a beautiful day outside, I don't think I can stay here much longer. Oh, and I haven't eaten since breakfast so I'm feeling a little light headed. I'm gonna go and get some water and then head on back over here I think.

More later (maybe).

xx

Monday, March 26, 2007

'I've been asleep for four hours, where are we, and why do I smell bad?'

Right, so a quick recap since last time I wrote, which was on, I think, Wednesday. I got a lot of work done and am now 60 (needing a lot of work but basically okay) pages into my novel and am really happy about that. On Thursday night my housemate had some friends round for dinner and we all drank a lot. At about midnight one of her friends was playing the guitar and I fell asleep, drunk, with my wine glass balanced in my hand. My housemate took the glass out of my hand, which stayed as if it were still holding said glass, until she lifted me up and took me to my room at which point I woke and said adamantly: 'I wasn't asleep.'

It reminded me of a time when I went to Amsterdam with some friends and fell asleep all over the place, waking up and saying, 'I was just resting my eyes.' In other words - 'I've been asleep for four hours, where are we, and why do I smell bad?'

I don't know why I seem so in denial of my sleeping when drunk. I think it's because it feels like I've been rude, missing the rest of the conversation.

Once, in Amsterdam, we were all in a bit of a state and I fell asleep in a tea shop and the woman who owned it told me off saying I couldn't sleep there. My friend then went on to tell me: 'You look awful Skully. I think you're going to die Skully.' It was horrible. I must have looked pretty bad, but hearing this news made me feel even worse, as it would.

Ah. thinking about that Amsterdam trip brings a smile to my face. We had such a good time. A couple of days into the holiday we saw a street performer in the main square dressed as the Grim Reaper/Death. This sighting prompted the game (yet to be suggested to MB) 'Where's Death.' Each person has to draw a picture using a felt tip pen of Death in a funny situation. We had a lot of laughs at: death at the vets/gay club/golf/beach/hot air balloon/casino. Oh, they were great. I think the game needs a bit more development, but I think it could be a winner.

Anyway, waking up on Friday I was in no state to work so cleaned the house for Ian's arrival, then went to meet Frea for coffee. Then came home feeling a bit brighter and did some editing of my second chapter, cooked dinner with my housemate, and then Ian arrived. Hurrah!

Saturday here in Cornwall was beautiful. It was like a Summers day, really warm and cloudless sky so we got the boat across to Flushing which is a small town near Falmouth. There isn't an awful lot to do there but it was like being in another country - the roads were quiet, the houses were amazing and the people were really friendly. We had lunch next to a yachting club before coming home in the late afternoon.

The rest of the weekend was pretty lazy. We went to David and Toni's for another lovely Sunday lunch, then Ian left and I spent last night watching Brass Eye with my housemate. We had tried to watch Six Degrees of Separation, which is a really good film, but the disc was scratched and made me feel on edge watching it because I kept waiting for the next bit to jump.

Oh, that reminds me, films. On Saturday night I watched this film called Sonny, which was about a male prostitute who leaves the army, comes home and is undecided about what to do with his future. Should he return to prostitution as his mother (yes, his mother, she's his pimp) tells him to? Or should he try and do something else?

Now, the general idea of the film is okay, but we don’t really get any feeling of what it is that the protagonist actually wants and, therefore, why he can't get it. There is a vague love story with a girl that his mother is pimping out, but it's all a bit hit and miss, and the film is made of so many scenes that don’t do anything to move the plot on and instead add too many characters. I think that if this film had been more linear, it would have been quite effective but, as it is, it came across as badly acted with a lacklustre story. Even Brenda Blethyn who played Sonny's mother was a bit ropey with a strained Queens accent pronouncing 'girl' as 'goil.'

I'm only mentioning this because it made me think about my novel and worry that I might be trying to do too much in one story. I really need to look at some parts of it and decide if what I'm doing is relevant. My main concern is one of the subplots involving the love interest, in which we hear a lot about his past, but I think this will slow things down and might be a story in itself.

Oh, I don’t know. I'll have to sit in a dark, cold room and have a think.

xx

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

A rant.

So I just finished reading someone else's blog in regards to the 'gay children's books' and, subsequently, gay parenting. The person was against both, stating that the best place for a child is with both a Mum and Dad. Of course there was no mention of whether this Mum and Dad were the best parents for the child.

But then, being heterosexual and also in a couple, surely they must be?

Well, no actually. What about the parents recently in the news who starved their eleven month old baby to death weighing only 10lb? Or the Mum who pitted her children against each other making them fight in front of a video camera 'for a laugh'? Or, in the most extreme circumstances, Fred and Rose West?

Are these people good parents? No. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But they're the child's natural parents. So should they be left with them? Apparently so if 'the best place for a child' is with their Mum and Dad.

The UK recently ranked lowest in Europe for our children's well-being, so clearly something is going wrong somewhere along the line. Could it possibly be that so many people are getting pregnant without thinking of the consequences, later treating the child no better than they would a dog?

I don’t think that a pregnancy has to be planned. But I do think that when a child is brought into a home it should be looked after and loved.

And love has nothing to do with sexuality or marital status.

I guess the point I'm making is that parents should be assessed on the people they are as opposed to the label they carry.

A good single or gay parent is better than an abusive mother and father.

The people who hide their own prejudices under the façade of 'children's best interests' are doing no-one any good, least of all the children they're claiming to protect.

In an ideal world a child would be safe with any adult it was left with. But this isn't an ideal world by any means, so wouldn't it be better to find parents that will look after children properly?

xx

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

One does not have to be a teacher to do this and help is available if needed.

Parent power
I have to write in response to Stephen Soos. I agree wholeheartedly with his assertion that teaching children, of any age, about homosexuality as a norm is perverted, pornographic and paedophilic. What I don't agree is that he will find anywhere else that is not tainted by this same malaise or, if not yet, will be very soon.

Parents in this country need to start forming small groups and teaching their children at home. One does not have to be a teacher to do this and help is available if needed. Home schooling is the way forward until we can be assured that the cultural Marxist brainwashing has been swept from our schools. And don't think it isn't going on everywhere in the West, whether it is the lie of global warming, the white guilt over slavery, the rubbishing of white Western history or the promotion of Islam.

Guess which website this came from?

The part in bold is the part that's most bizarre and worrying. I pity the poor kids learning life lessons from bigoted parents like this. Now, not only will they be ignorant about diversity, they'll also be socially stunted from years out of school. What a step forward.

xx

Monday, March 19, 2007

I found a fox in the road so I took the skull.

So there goes another weekend. It was a good one, but I feel I have to cover some of last week’s adventures before I reach the weekend.

So, Wednesday was pretty unmemorable in that nothing very interesting happened. Oh, I went out for a curry with Jen and Joe since it was his last night in Falmouth until after Easter and that was very nice. Then Thursday we had a guest lecturer come in, a children's book author. And that was good, but she was really nervous about speaking in public and it was all a bit awkward. Particularly because she rushed and any jokes she made were lot in the blur of her chatter.

Thursday night I went out for drinks with the guys from my course and it ended up being quite a messy night. My friend Sara stayed at my house and in the morning neither of us could remember how we got home. Bit concerning. Still, we managed to make it in for the MA class at 9.30am which was pretty good going I think though I was a bit hysterical by that time.

I can't remember what happened on Friday night...oh yes, yes I can. I went out for dinner with Jenny and her visiting friend from London, Lizzie. Lizzie works as an editor and had with her a client who only addressed her at the table. He didn't even try to engage Jen or I in conversation. It was pretty painful. It's so weird when you meet an adult who acts in that kind of way, as if they have no social skills at all. In children you can kind of understand it, but in adults it's just bizarre and a bit creepy.

Saturday I spent doing a bit of work on my first chapter, then went to the gym, then back to work before going out for Ben's birthday which was great fun. We got drunk and danced. The way a birthday should be. I felt a bit ropey yesterday, but after a three hour walk on and around the beach with Antje, everything felt a bit better. Worked again for a few hours and then we settled down to watch Fried Green Tomatoes, which made us feel warm and fuzzy. Just as well since living in my house is like being in a morgue. Honestly, it's so cold. I woke up this morning and swore I must have left the window open, but I hadn't. It was so freezing I didn't want to get out of bed. But I made it in the end and am now at Kath's babysitting Tia (her dog). I've told Tia that I'm going to get some work done and then we'll go out for a walk and she seems fine with that plan.

God, I completely forgot about a mad person I met on Saturday night. When I got to the pub on Saturday night to meet Ben and co, there was a table with a seat free while everyone else was standing. So I sat down, turned to my right and said hello to the girl next to me. We were introduced and then got talking./ At which point it became clear she was a crazy. Here are a couple of lines I remember:

Her: I had a really good day.
Me: Oh, that's good, what happened?
Her: I got my microscope fixed and someone gave me a box of slides of viruses.
Me: That's...that's good. Great.
Her: There's loads in there. Malaria, meningitis....

Another:

Her: I found a fox today.
Me: ?
Her: I found a fox in the road so I took the skull.
Me: Why?
Her: I collect bones.
Me: Oh, okay...
Her: I set my alarm for five months to go back and get the rest. I'll be tempted to go back sooner. I hope no-one else takes it before I can get there.
Me: I'm sure you'll be fine.

So that was nice. Turns out this girl is more an acquaintance of Ben's and known to be a bit loony. Ben came to get me after I'd been sitting with her for about an hour, saying, 'Come and meet someone.' He said he felt sorry for me and that he could see I needed saving.

But, as painful as the conversation was, I kind of loved it. I wished I had a transcript of the whole thing. It was all so weird. I'd love a friend like that to take with me to places and introduce to people before waking off and leaving them for hours.

Anyway, more later. I have to do some work.


xx

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Nick!

So, just came out of my meeting with Derrek, my novel tutor, and got some good feedback. He was pleased with my pace and synopsis but said I tend to repeat some sentence structures and styles, so that's something I need to look out for. He was also saying that in general people need to evaluate everything they're writing to make sure that it's moving the story along, which was kind of comforting. I feel like I have to write descriptions of places and things like that, really lengthy colourful ones, but having spoken to old D today I realised these might not always be neccessary. I know I'll need to use some physical descriptions, but using lots will just slow things down. So feeling quite peaceful so far today and looking forward to getting on with features later.

Right, I'm off into town now with the following written on the back of my hand:
Nick!
Toothbrush
Attitude
Tesco!

It's all very cryptic.

xx

Monday, March 12, 2007

Don't give ugly people authority.

Right, so the weekend is over and was in part horrendous and in part very relaxing. The horrendous part was Friday night. Having got a lot of work done, we decided to go out for some drinks and a bit of a dance. So started off all very nice in the Seven Stars with some Fish and Chips, then walked down to Falmouth (a fifteen minute walk, Holly said; more like a fifteen minute for each foot) and met some more friends in Jacob's Ladder. All very well and good so far. I had a few G and Ts and then we all headed down to this dive of a club called Remedies. It's not nice by any stretch of the imagination but it has later opening hours and a dancefloor. It ticked all the right boxes for the evening. Anyway, off I was at the bar when I come back to the table and see that there are three security guards surrounding everyone but mainly Frea. I didn't know what was going on and no-one around did either. It later turned out that Frea had put her head down on the sofa for about 20 seconds when the security morons lynched her and told her she had to leave. Now, while we had all had a few drinks, no-one was overly drunk and we were all able to speak without slurring and make sense. Frea told them that she would go after her drink and that she hadn't done anything wrong. The woman bouncer then gave her her drink back and then the next thing I knew I was being taken down the stairs with my arm up my back and my head pushed down.

They completely over-reacted to nothing. It was ridiculous. So we stood outside and got a policewoman involved who was useless and did absolutely nothing to help. It really annoyed me that we were treated in this way in a place that was a complete hole. If those bouncers acted that way in somewhere that actually did have trouble going on, they would be out of a job. And also, if we had been different people who had turned violent in such a situation the whole thing could have kicked off majorly. They just can't act like that for no reason. I was so angry and even thinking about it now makes me irritated. I just hate it when people use their 'power' to abuse people. Still, there is a lesson learnt: don't give ugly people authority.

Right, after that it's on to rant number two. So today I was reading The Sun in the bar, simply because it was there, no other reason. Anyway, I came across a headline: You couldn't make it up - Fairy Tales. You can read the article here:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007110660,00.html

It's about a new line of books that feature gay characters and is part of a new scheme to try and lessen prejudices about homosexuality USING TAX PAYERS MONEY (the usual flag when The Sun doesn’t like something). It's kind of along the lines of what I was thinking about on Valentines Day in regards to how soon are we making children aware of their sexuality. Anyway, the article is outraged about these books, practically saying that they shouldn't be allows. One loony Christian group is calling them “outrageous and wicked” when the only thing that is wicked is these people's prejudices. What really riles me about things like this is the fact that this paper, The Sun, was taking the moral high ground only a few months ago in regards to the 'race row' on Celebrity Big Brother, completely vilifying Jade Goody et al and going along with every other headline in the country saying her behaviour was, as one front page declared, 'pure evil.'

Now though it seems that The Sun is off its soap box, and it's okay to be narrow minded and prejudiced again. Phew! It must have been confusing for a while in The Sun office: 'Are we racist today or aren't we?'

I just can't believe in 2007 there has been such a reaction to such publications. How can parents be horrified, as The Sun claims them to be? Don't they want the best for their children? Isn't that what being a parent is all about? Wanting your child to be happy and content in their life? Well, clearly not if you're a Sun reader. The kids of narrow minded bigots like these people will only be happy with a child that is suffering in silence for years because they were never happy about their sexuality. If these books get pulled it will be a real shame because it's about time that material like this manifested. I knew that I was gay as young as about 8 and it was a weird feeling, imagining that this was something only I was going through. I for one would have been happy to read something like this. Children need reassurance. The only people that can corrupt a child's mind are the adults in their life and if this continues to happen we'll never breed a new generation.

Anyway, I have to confess something. I have a weird addiction to the BNP website. I hate it, but every week I find myself looking at what they write about news events. So today I couldn't help myself. Obviously they weren't happy about these books claming that they were teaching CHILDREN AS YOUNG AS FOUR YEARS OLD ABOUT GAY SEX. Which obviously they're not. Anyway, this is the most upsetting bit of their rant:

'The Equality Act states that all public institutions must meet the needs of gays and lesbians, but surely this shouldn't include the brainwashing of children as young as four years old!'

Brainwashing? Hardly, just letting kids know that you don’t have to be the same as everyone else in life.

So depressing.

xx

Saturday, March 10, 2007

A cheap blog posting...more to follow.

1] What were you doing Feb 14th?
Babysitting a nine year old with my friend Jen and watching Thank You For Smoking. It was all very romantic.

2] What kind of cell do you have?
A slippy slidey black one.

3] Color socks you wore today?
One blue, one black. I never match. Well, rarely.

4] How many Harry Potter books do you own?
I have one. The first one. I have never read it though.

5] Paper: College ruled or Wide lined?
I don't know what that means. If it means tiny blocks like French exercise books or normal lines, then I choose the normal lines. Everytime.

6] Do you have a digital camera?
Yes, I do. And very nice it is too.

7] Do you have a job?
No. But I have had. I wasn't enamoured by it.

8] What color is your jacket?
Brown.

9] Does it snow where you live?
On occasion.

10] Ever see a ghost?
No. But once I thought I got felt up by one. It was a horrible experience but I think it may just have been a bad blend of too much drink and an open window. Sarah Green need not be alerted.

11] Do you keep your movie tickets?
If the film and night was nice, then yes.

12] How many phone numbers do you have on your phone?
No idea.

13] Who was your last text from?
Jenny.

14] Who's your #1 on myspace?
James I think.

15] Do you have a yellow shirt?
No. I would look horrible in a yellow shirt.

16] What month is it?
March

17] You ever lit a match?
Yes.

18] Can you start a fire?
No.

20] Is your bedroom window facing south?
Ugh I have no idea.

21] Current crush?
Ian I guess, though I think we're past the crush stage.

22] You have an older brother?
No I don't. Who told you that?

23] Have you ever STARTED a food fight?
Maybe. Not sure.

24] Can you walk in High Heels?
Yes. Many times Moira would swap shoes with me on the walk home and I'd stagger home in them. So maybe walk is a bit generous. I can walk like I've soiled myself in heels. That's better.

25] Collect anything?
No, actually. I don't anymore.

26] Steve or Joe?
Joe. Very nice he is too.

27] Aren't penguins awesome?
They're alright. A bit overindulged with the making of March of the Penguins though. They're not my favouraite cold animal.

28] Who'd miss you most if you died?
God, what a horrible think to answer. And so I won't because it's tempting fate.

29] Do you own a scarf?
No.

30] Bald or Fat?
Bald.

31] What color is the blanket on your bed?
Brown. From design, not accident.

32] Do you have an orange ball?
No.

33] Ever been snowboarding?
Nope. I would probably fall and break myself.

34] Ever seen a starfish?
Yes.

35] Can you juggle?
No.

36] Do you tear open your gifts?
No. I hate seeing people do that. It makes me think of You've been Framed when they have nasty kids screaming, 'THAT'S NOT THE ONE I WANTED!'

37] Mittens or gloves?
Gloves. I hate mittens, they're so restricting.

38] What's the longest Halloween candy has lasted with you?
Hmmm, I don't think I have ever had much halloween candy so no answer for that one.

39] You're wearing pj's arent you?
No I'm not. So accusing.

40] Fly or laser vision?
I don't know what fly vision is. Do you mean seeing everything loads of times? That would proably make me sick. So laser vision.

41] Looking back- what was your least favorite school year?
Year 9 I think at St Bedes though I can't think why.

42] Ever answered a phone that wasn't yours?
Yes.

43] Hit anyone with a cart lately?
Ha ha, no. A car, yes. A cart, no. I'm joking by the way...

44] Where did you work last year?
Avery's Wine Merchants. It was good fun and I made a lot of friends there.

45] How was your last birthday?
Good. I went for a meal, then for a dance.

46] Last song you heard?
Nelly Furtado - Sat it Right.

47] Who WONT repost this?
James and others.

48] Roses or carnations?
Rose.

49] Last person you yelled at?
One of those bouncers from last night. What a bizarre time. More details to follow.

50] Italian or Mexican?
Mexican, though both have their appeal.

51] Ever eat an entire can of frosting?
No, I don't have a very sweet tooth.

52] Strange belief as a child?
That I had a brother called Daniel who was in a war. My sister said I shouldn't mention it to my parents because they would get upset, so for weeks I thought I had another sibling when in reality the only one I had was filling my mind with rubbish. Thanks Sara!

53] Favorite candy?
Hmm, probablycola bottles.

54] How old were you when you learned to read?
I have no idea.

55] Who was your last phone call?
Dialled or received? Dialled - Sophie, received - Devi.

56] Last time you had a headache?
Last week sometime.

57] First car?
Citroen Saxo. It was very nice until some deaf man crashed into it and it was written off.

58] Do you have barbies?
Nope.

59] Whats on your bedroom walls?
A calendar, a canvas painting and my degree certificate.

60] Do you own anything sharp?
Yes, scissors and the like.

61] Whats the first word you think of when you hear- lake?
Water.

62] What color is your watch?
I don't have one. But I was planning to get one this year. How distracted I have been...

63] Ever been pushed off something?
I can't remember. Karma pushed me down a muddy slope recently though. Not nice.

64] Last time you were hyper?
Yesterday after a G and T and handing two chapters in.

65] Any plans for tonight?
I'm probably going to be working on my feature and novel. I might watch a film. Maybe Live Flesh or All About My Mother.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I just know that I can't bear to see any more of these wretched grinning faces.

I'm not the most tolerant person in the world. I'll be the first to admit that. Lots of people's face and voices annoy me and I'd rather eat my own face than be stuck with someone who talks about themselves more than they ask questions.

But my intolerance reached an ugly peak in the last week or two. The reason? The millions of posters persuading me to vote for someone to be Student Union president. Now, when I was doing my undergraduate course, things like this were around too but they never bothered me. And so I don’t know why these posters and flyers annoy me so much but they do. I think it's because none of them actually say anything! They're all the same. They say: Vote for XXXX and have a nice picture of the person in question. But they give you no reason as to vote. For all I know I could be voting for a Neo-Nazi. And that would not be good. I think they get on my nerves too because they're just an ego boost for the people in the running. They just seem to like the idea of being voted for and I bet they haven’t even thought of what they would do if they were voted. Nothing will change whoever wins, I bet. Maybe I'm being cynical, do you think? I don’t know. I just know that I can't bear to see any more of these wretched grinning faces. Ugh, the most offensive one is this really smug looking guy whose posters have him stood in front of Honk Kong. What relevance is that to a campaign?

I know I'm being really sensitive about the smugness of people but I can't help it. I know people can't help the way they look. But they can help putting their picture all around the campus. If you have a smug face, you don’t do that. Especially if you’re running for president. You want to make people like you surely, not think you're a complete twat. Oh, maybe it's just me. But having spoken to other people, they seem equally annoyed at the lack of information these posters have on them. Not annoyed by the faces though, disappointingly.

Right, rant over. Moving on. I have written the basic skeleton for my first chapter which is fifteen pages at the moment which I'm kind of happy with. I still need to send at least two chapters to Derrek by Saturday which is a little scary BUT it will get done.

So there we go, I'm going to finish on that note and head off home. I'm meant to go to Asda tonight but I don't know if I can face it. There's always a guarantee of miserable faces there.

xx

Monday, March 05, 2007

It's not often you hear complaints about giraffes.

So, another weekend done and dusted; it was quite a good one though I was crippled with fear for some of it, worried about the amount of work that I'm meant to be handing in. Still, I managed to finish my feature on friendship off, the first one that I'm actually positive about handing in. But not started with the novel yet. Was meant to be handing in four chapters tomorrow but that's never going to happen. I got myself in a bit if a state about it on Saturday to the point that I had to have a bit of a lie down to stop thinking about it. So, I've decided that the reason I haven't been able to get into the writing of it yet is because I haven't yet done the preliminary work around it. So yesterday and today I was working on the main premise and also the synopsis which has made me feel a lot more confident and happy about what I'm doing. It's kind of good actually, because I recognised from times before that I was suffering from writer's block and remembered that I got through it before so I can do it again. So tonight I'm going to make sure I have my synopsis completely tightened, a structure for at least the first four chapters and then I can go to bed happy. I'll still have to tell Derrek I haven't done the four chapters in the morning but never mind. It's in my own best interests to get it done and I will when I'm ready. The first 10,000 words I handed in were awful and a waste of time because I didn't really know what I was doing and I don't want that to happen again.

Anyway, steering off the subject of work; yesterday I went round to my friends David and Toni's for a Sunday lunch. Toni is a fantastic cook and made the best roast chicken I have had outside of my Nan's house. I went with Jenny and we had a really nice afternoon. Their daughter, who's three, was so sweet. When we arrived we asked how her weekend was. She had been out for the day in the rain with David and replied with, 'It's miserable out there. Bloody raining.' It was so cute. Then later, she was telling her stuffed (not taxidermy style) giraffe off saying, 'He's not even walking properlay. He has to crawl.' I didn't know how to reply to that. It's not often you hear complaints about giraffes so I just said, 'Oh no. Is he okay?' And then she wandered off chattering to herself.

It's kind of funny how advanced children are at three. I always thought that kids couldn't speak at that age, that they were just bigger babies. With hair styles. But how wrong I was. Or maybe David's daughter is an exception to this rule. I don't know since I can't remember being three myself.

Anyway, I'm off to have a drink with Jen and Joe and then home to dive into the novel.

Hurrah!

xx

Thursday, March 01, 2007

I can understand if you feel taken for granted, cheap and unloved.

Dear Blog,

I'm writing to apologise for my constant neglect over the last few weeks. I'm ashamed of myself. I can understand if you feel taken for granted, cheap and unloved. Maybe even ugly. But you're not Blog, you're really not. Please don't feel this way. I know I haven't been there for you recently as much as I have been: a couple of lines here, a paragraph there. But this does not mean that I care for you any less.

I know what you're thinking Blog; I can sense you despising the words, 'novel' and 'features.' I can see your face wincing at the words and I can understand your frustration at these demanding my time, but you must remember that we have something between us that they will never take. Our relationship has been wonderful since October and I love spending my time with you (though I do feel it's one sided at times; I do a lot of the talking but you're a perfect listener). You've been there through some good times and some bad, you've taken the rough with the smooth and I appreciate this. The next few months are going to be hard Blog. But together we can do it. Honestly.

I don't want us to drift apart. I really don't. But right now Blog, I need to invest some time in some other areas of my life. I'll be thinking of you every day and I'll visit as often as I can.

Love as always,

Liam

xx