I felt my will to live slide down my trouser leg and die in my shoe.

So, all my classes are over now. How weird. Now, it relies on strict self-discipline to make sure that I get as much as I can done on my novel over the summer. I think I'll write up a timetable. In fact, I know I will. Hurrah! I feel better already.

Anyway, the weekend trickled by; on Saturday I spent the majority of the day in bed feeling like I might slip away at any moment after the damage I must have done to myself the night before. Eventually got out of bed at about 6pm and drove to St Austell (in still three handled car) to Judy's for a meal, which was lovely - thank you Judy.

Then on Sunday I swang down to see Jenny off before meeting Holly in Citrus Cafe for a stressless breakfast (the last time I was there I had a bit of a strop and left, but I can't be bothered going into that now). After breakfast we went to Woolworths where they had a massive sale on CDs and DVDs and I bought possibly the worst films ever to be put onto disc. One was called The Social Climber which, from the back cover, was described as 'Bridget Jones meets Sex and the City'. If it had been the mix of these two, I'd probably have been pretty happy. But it wasn't anything like either of these. In fact it was probably as comparable as Mother Theresa and Rose West are: ie, not very. I made Frea and Oz watch it with me and it was so bad that I felt my will to live slide down my trouser leg and die in my shoe. The narrative was all over the place, the dialogue was horrible and the characters were all so dislikeable. But we stuck it out, the hardened viewers that we are. Then we watched Big, which was perfect for a rainy Sunday afternoon. I'd seen it when I was younger, but yesterday I couldn't help but feel a bit creeped out that the woman falls in love with Tom Hanks' character who's a twelve year old trapped in a thirty year olds body. Thinking about it now, it's a little sinister, isn't it? Not as bad as if it was the other way round though. But I don't think that could ever be a film. Ever. No.

So, today has been kind of productive. I've spent most of my time researching comparable books in the market and now feel I have a few names and titles to refer to. I'm already feeling a bit nervous about the presentation next week. I just hate the idea of having to stand in front of everyone on the course and explain why I'm the best person to write my novel. I'm fine with the plot at the moment I think, and my characters are coming together, but the thought of selling myself makes me feel a bit wobbly. If it was strangers I was talking in front of, I think I'd feel happier, but because it's everyone on the course it seems more daunting for some reason. I think it's because there's more expectation. Still, it's going to be great practice so I should just shut up and get on with planning it.

So, that's been my day so far. I'm going to go home now and get on with some character development for my married man. Whoopo!

More soon,

xx

I can enjoy their company without gazing off into the distance and thinking about word counts and deadlines.

My room's come alive with Post-It notes, and I love it. I took Sara's advice of writing down the twelve stages of story, then sticking individual scenes under these headings - the joy being that you can move them around. I'm so pleased with it. It makes it all seem a lot more real, more visible in my mind and I can remember exactly what's happening and when and see where scenes will best compliment one another. Hurrah!

Anyway, the novel has kind of taken over my thinking over the last few days since I have to write a new MA proposal for tomorrow and send it to my tutor for her feedback. I've pretty much done it now and since the genre and style haven't changed dramatically, there's not much to tweak. I just need to hack my 800 word synopsis down to 500, which is a good exercise anyway.

So, aside from that, things have all been pretty good. Went out for a walk this afternoon with Jen, Kath and Tia, which was great. I've been feeling a bit guilty for staying in and working when the sun is shining and the days are gorgeous. But then, saying that, I feel equally guilty when I'm out in the sun and my work is sitting at my desk awaiting my return. Sometimes you just can't win.

Still, it's nice that Summer is here. It's weird, I always think it's funny how quickly you get used to the seasons. Like, one minute it's raining and I'm wrapped up in so many layers in my room that I can barely move, then the next it's so nice and warm that I have my windows and door open and find every excuse under the sun (since it's there) to go out and lounge around.

Right, well, I need to get on with some more work I think. Ian and my parents and down this weekend, which will be really nice and so I want to make sure I've got as much done as possible so I can enjoy their company without gazing off into the distance and thinking about word counts and deadlines.


xx