C U Next Tuesday.

What a great day. I just came in from lunch with people on my course (well done Amanda for organizing such an occasion) and it was really nice. Almost dampened by a nasty waitress, as keen on her job as having scabies, but never mind. I made a fool of myself actually; my friend, Jenny, came into the restaurant so I was waving manically for her when said waitress came over snapping, 'Yes?' I felt so embarrassed, I was like, 'Oh...no....I was waving for my friend.' I'm sure she thought I was a complete C U Next Tuesday but there we go, I wasn't waving at her so I shouldn't feel too bad.

Anyway, other than that today has been kind of uneventful. I had a taster class in writing for business which was kind of interesting but I don't think I will take that module next study block. It doesn't seem like something that I want to do ever so much. However, during the class I worked in a group thinking of ways to detract people from using wretched 4x4's in urban surroundings. We presented our ideas of bumper stickers with slogans like, 'Kiddie killer on board', 'I hate the environment' and, 'One 4x4, two reasons, three times the pollution, fo(u)r your childrens future, THINK.' Anyway, we gave feedback on our ideas and that was all well and good. Jenny, though, said something that made me think: 'What the hell?' She said that people in London often pay for someone to spray their 4x4 with mud so that they can say they were in the country for the weekend. Isn't that the craziest thing you ever heard? It made me feel a weird mix of angry, confused and despairing. Who the hell would be that concerned about things like that? And who do they hope to impress by doing something like that? Maybe it's an urban legend. You know, maybe no-one actually does that but I don't think Jen is a liar and nor would I put it past some people. It's no different to buying a certain kind of car or designer suit. By having a car sprayed with mud, the owner is buying a lifestyle: one that says, 'Yes I live in London but I can still afford to enjoy the country too.' Assuming this consumerism does indeed exist, it's bizarre that someone would care so much about the way they are perceived to go to such measures. Yes, we live in a world in which plastic surgery and botox are as much a part of society as television, but isn't this spray-on-impression a step too far? By doing something like this we are not making ourselves more attractive or successful but simply pushing an impression of ourselves onto anyone who sees us travel about in our 4x4 which, incidentally, makes most people take an instant dislike to us anyway. It worries me that people take such drastic measures to make themselves seem credible. Are they so unhappy living where they are that they have to pretend they visit other places during the weekends? In my opinion, people who act in such a way need to look at more pressing issues before they take such action in much the same way as those who invest in plastic surgery. Acting in such a way, these people are buying a temporary fix; they are not making themselves happier in the long run bit instead changing something tiny rather than fixing the larger picture. No matter how much plastic surgery a person has, they will always be the same person beneath the skin. Nothing will change that. If someone has esteem issues, there is nothing a plastic surgeon can do to help in the long term. Yes the person will have a new face/nose/mouth(designer)vagina but if they are insecure anyway they will find fault in their new looks soon enough.

Today we were given statistics about people who buy 4x4's and it was proven that the majority of people who purchase such vehicles are vain, insecure, and shallow. Throwing money at something like a 4x4 won't stop the person feeling this way, in fact perhaps the opposite. In buying it, they are assuming that they will be made happier but when the car fails to fill a void they may well feel worse than they did originally. It makes sense. If we set our hearts on something and that something doesn’t deliver then we feel more disappointed: where do we look now? I think that is what's wrong with people at the moment; they don’t look beyond what they can buy. Too many people think that the money they throw at things will make them happier. And maybe it will in the short term. But in the long term we need to look beyond such quick-fixes. We need to look at what it is that makes us crave consumerism and focus on that instead. I think that many people are scared to look at themselves in that way and instead assume they can buy their way to happiness, which is concerning. I know that by talking like this I sound as if I'm a complete leper to a shopping centre and that I am completely happy with the way my life is. It's not that, I just think that when I feel low I know that I need to look at why I feel like that rather than spending money on things that I assume will make me feel better. Making ourselves happy isn’t easy at all and it's hard work because we can't just buy happiness over the till counter. We might think we can, but we can't. If you feel low and go shopping and buy a new top that looks great on you, I am not disputing the fact that it will boost your happiness temporarily. But is the cause of your sadness not still inside you somewhere? If you're honest, I'm sure you will find it is.

Anyway, the moral is - urban 4x4 drivers should be shot and you can't buy happiness.

xx